'Twas the bite before Christmas

And the children were tucked neat in the beds, waiting for presents, but something much different than their dreams told them lurked in the shadows instead.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Or a rat, or indeed any creature that wanted to stay alive.

Down the hallway, there was a trail of mouse corpses, not quite in a row, more casually tossed as someone, or something, progressed towards the living room.

A cat creeps around the carnage, knowing that this wasn’t their doing, but that they’d get the blame anyway. The cat gets to the living room doorway and is scooped up by a teenaged hand. The very pale teenager cuddles the feline, tickling his head and neck for affection, pull the cat near his face, near his mouth, stroking his cheek on her head.

‘Put the cat down’ snaps a much older man’s voice.

Cue the sigh from The Teenager. The cat is carefully placed back on the floor, it promptly turns and hisses at The Teenager, before sauntering away.

‘Why?’ The Teenager whispered.

The older man emerges from the shadows. Also very pale, dressed in black, with some quite pointy teeth, but visibly younger than he sounds. Holding a small sack, he walks up to The Teenager and raises his eyebrows. The Teenager mirrors his expression back at him.

It’s going to be a long night.

‘The cat is the presumptive accused.’ The Man replies. The Teenager waits for the next part he has heard a thousand times before. ‘The cats eat the small things, so we leave the cat, because they will think it’s the cat, and not us.’

The Teenager huffs. He goes to study the Christmas tree in the corner of the room. Fully lit with shiny baubles adorning every available branch. He takes off a large bauble and studies it, pulling faces into the shiny surface, seeing nothing in the bauble. ‘And why are we doing this again?’

‘Why did you bother to come if you are going to be like this?’

‘Something to do.’ He still found it fascinating that neither of them have a reflection. He puts the bauble back on the tree. ‘I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?’

‘Well, the last time they nearly burnt down the whole of London trying to find us.’

‘I thought that fire was started in the baker’s oven?’

‘That’s what they told people. Plausible reasoning.’ The Man inpects the stockings hung on the fireplace. ‘It was not fun having to deal with the aftermath.’ He reaches into the bag, and starts to fill them, one orange in each. He smiles, ‘I can still remember what these taste like. Here,’ he tosses an orange to The Teenager, taking another for himself.

The Man peels the orange, throwing each piece of peel into the fireplace. The Teenager studies what he’s been given, sniffs it, and mirrors The Man’s action to peel it. The Man doesn’t break off a segment, he just sinks his teeth into the side of the orange, and sucks it hard. A small amount of juice dribbles out the corner of his mouth. He wipes his chin. The Teenager copies, his face crumples with disgust at the taste. The Man chuckles.

‘It doesn’t taste the same, but you get a similar suck’. The Teenager is not convinced. The Man tosses the remnants of his orange in the fire, and The Teenager follows suit. The room starts smelling of orange.

The Man continues the history lesson. ‘After the fire, they drew up the original treaty of Versailles, we agreed to have a yearly break from what we do, and they try to pretend we aren’t about the rest of the year.’

‘So, gaslighting humans into thinking we don’t exist.’

The Man thinks, nods, ‘yeah, pretty much.’

‘Like the greenwashing in some of the Christmas marketing campaigns they like?’

‘Where do you think they got the idea from?’ There is hope for The Teenager yet.

‘And that’s where the whole a fat guy who delivers presents comes from?’

‘Yeah, and we do this, and get to discreetly do what we want the rest of the year.’

The Teenager inspects the chimney with its lit fire. ‘I don’t get how they think a fat guy could get down a chimney.’

‘Yeah I know. Of all “mythical” creatures, who can magically shrink and get down and chimney, but fly back out again, they go with the least likely.’

The Man has finished with the stockings, and has moved onto the brandy and mince pie. He downs the brandy, and picks up the mince pie and offers it to The Teenager, who shakes his head.

The Teenager studies the family photos on the fireplace mantle. ‘Where did the reindeer come from?’ The photos tell him there are three generations in this house, surely they won’t miss one.

‘Purely aesthetics. To be honest, both sides like reindeer, obviously for different reasons. It solved how to explain flying. They come out the heroes, everyone is happy, and a lot less questions.’

The Teenager hones in on the photo of the mum of the house and picks it up, ‘Can’t we just…’

‘No. They go to bed and stay there or we don’t come. And that is where they stay. It’s just too complicated.’

The Teenager puts the photo back, and The Man walks to the door.

‘Don’t forget the magic dust,’ The Man adds.

The Teenager stops, takes out a small pouch from his jacket, opens it and sprinkles a pinch of glitter on the floor. He puts the pouch away and gets out a handkerchief to wipe his hand on. Except by this point of the night, its all over in the inside of his jacket, wiping his hand is futile.

‘I’m never going to get this out.’

The Man quietly laughs, ‘Keep it like that until the end of January and you’ll be able to pick up the young girls who think vampires sparkle normally.’

‘How many more houses to go?’

‘Just a few more.’

The Teenager follows The Man back to the open window at the end of the hall. The Man gets a small bell out of his pocket and gives it a twinkle. The Teenager rolls his eyes. The Man gestures to The Teenager, who transfigures into a bat, and flies out window. The Man double checks the hallway, frowns at the almost straight line of mice on the floor, and kicks them to the side so it’s a more random placement.

He transfigures, joins The Teenager outside, and off into the night they flew, helping to maintain the myth of magic, the reindeer, presents, and Saint Nicholas too.